Subtitles by OnDemandKorea
The busy life that passes by at a breathless pace.
Attend meetings...
Go to class...
and drink.
I am living in the midst of millions of people
but when was the last time I had a face-to-face conversation? I can't remember.
One day--
The "As I Say" road opened!
Have you watched "Dr. Frost"?
I guess you don't know it. Sorry.
Enter each other's daily life--
We'll go on a date! Have a drink!
The street where you courageously talk!
Honestly, I was being a jerk.
(That one word you heard on the street...)
The world is not fair.
You did a great job by just surviving.
(Becomes what becomes engraved into your heart!)
Busking with words. As I Say begins now.
I'm MC Yoo Hee-yeol.
I'm MC Haha.
I'm Hwang Suk-jung, and I'm an immature woman.
Is she wearing a wig?
She has too much hair.
I'm Hee-yeol Dana!
I'm Lee Jong-beom, and I'm a cartoonist.
The courageous ones have come out to speak.
Busking with words.
As I Say.
The introductions are evolving!
I think they write down what they're gonna say.
She has the perfect look.
Why don't you get up and show us your back?
I'm reminded of Galaxy Express 999.
This is my favorite style. It says fall.
With the denim...
And Dana! Her name is actually Hong Sung-mi.
We're really close friends.
Hee-yeol Dana.
When you were in a group, your stage name used to be Hee-yeol Dana, right?
I feel really close to her.
Why did you use "Heeyeol?"
We had to have something like that in front of our names,
but I was really embarrassed back then, too.
It is pretty embarrassing to say "Hee-yeol Dana."
It feels really weird every time she says that.
You hate it that much?
Try saying "Dana Hee-yeol." Weird, right?
"Dana Hee-yeol," and "Hee-yeol Dana."
- It's weird. - It is.
"Dana Hee-yeol." I think I get it now.
He's the smart cartoonist.
He wrote and drew the hit webtoon "Dr. Frost".
Cartoonist Lee Jong-beom, everyone.
Go!
What kind of cartoons do you draw?
I draw cartoons about psychology.
It's about a psychologist who treat patients who have an illness of the mind.
He figures out what each person's issue is and how that person ended up like that.
It's sort of like a medical drama.
Did you major in psychology by any chance?
Yes, my major in college was psychology, not cartoon.
Then do you feel some kind of vibe...
from our gestures or the way we speak...
Isn't that a fortune teller?
Yes, that's philosophy--
I mean, if you've studied things like that so much...
I think you should know yourself very well. Do you have any concerns right now?
I don't think we need to be here. They're good.
- Today's the 6th episode... - And we're all settled in.
My biggest concern right now is how people would view me.
When I was on "The Genius 3", what people called me the most...
was "ugly-sexy."
- What? - Not just sexy, but "ugly-sexy."
The readers of my cartoons called me "sexy," but
I thought I looked like "Planet of the Apes".
No way.
- Even today, before I came on the show... - You're not that...
People told me to lose weight, so I was doing my best--
No, it's not about the weight.
- It's good that you came on today. - Why?
The show's called "As I Say", not "As I Look".
Right.
- She's like an MC. - Yes.
- It's time to show them what we can do. - Please.
We'll show you what experienced MCs can do.
Hold on.
What page are we on?
Hold on just a minute. You'll be surprised...
- This is your part. - Okay, got it.
So! Today's episode...
This is our 6th meeting. We'll go out and look for a spot where we can go busking.
Are you gonna use mine?
Promise? Alright.
From Seoul to Jeju, all around the country, in the streets
we want to make a chance for us to talk and communicate with you.
Today, the two MCs and the three guests will
be doing a relay busking with a common goal.
You know how you pay attention to your outfit when you're on TV, right?
You put in some effort, right?
Yes, I thought about the outfit a lot.
With my provocative feel--the sexy feel that I have--
You see, this color--
Why are you taking off your jacket?
- This color-- - Why are you taking it off?
It's too hot in here.
I think it's because you're next to me, Hee-yeol.
Oh, please.
- What is this? - It's too hot.
I'm prepared for a hot debate.
I wanted to look trusty.
Got it. Let's take it slow.
- Slowly. - Yes, be patient.
Okay.
I didn't know that Suk-jung and Hee-yeol went to the same school.
Yes, she got in a year before I did. She majored in Korean traditional music.
And there were lots of protests when we were in college.
We always had police officers at our school.
People would disguise as students to come into campus.
And I was often mistaken for people like that.
- Are you serious? - That kind of...
They wouldn't let me through. They didn't think I was a student there.
They didn't think you were a student there.
That happens to me a lot. Even at the National Theater of Korea.
They wouldn't let me in because they thought I wasn't an actress.
I'd been working there for 3 years! So I yelled at him.
I was like "You've seen me come here for three years!"
He wouldn't let me in.
I used to carry around a recycled black plastic bag.
But now I understand. Right next to the theater is Seoul Station.
And everyone carries around a black plastic bag.
Now, it's our first time having a cartoonist on the show.
What made you decide to come on the show?
I thought it was a very ambitious program.
- This program? - Yes.
Like a greek forum where people spoke to the people in the streets.
They told me that. They told me that that's what this show is about.
In a plaza...
I wasn't sure if this show would be successful.
That's exactly what I said!
- That's funny. - But then...
- Son A-ram said-- - You know him?
- You're one of those guys? - We went to the same high school--
We went to the same high school.
There's something about this seat.
Son A-ram sat here too, right? He was playing with a ball the whole time.
He wrote on his social media that he really liked this show, and
I worked a lot of different jobs before I became a cartoonist.
I taught at an after school--
- What subject did you teach? - Foreign language.
But I don't remember making eye contact with people when I talked.
- But you talked so much. - Right. As I thought about it,
only the people who really want to listen to me will be there, right?
- Even if it's only a few people. - Right.
That's what I thought. But I was really scared, because...
the topic I'm going to talk about today is a very difficult topic.
You said you had a lot of different jobs. What kind of jobs have you had?
I taught, I had a show on the radio...
- Radio? - Yes.
He has a good voice.
And I sold kimbap for a long time.
- At Kimbap Heaven? - No, not there.
I used to be in the music field before cartoons.
When there were a lot of indie bands--
They'd call someone like me for a cheap price to record songs--
You used to be a guest performer?
Which instrument?
I used to play the drums on a jazz team.
Being a guest performer means he is really good.
Can you pretend we have the drums here and show us.
- We can tell by your hands. - We know.
Since we don't have the drums...
This is what I carry around--
Blues... blues harmonica.
It's a hard instrument to play.
- Yes, it's a bit-- - The scale is different.
Go ahead.
That's cool.
The scale is different.
Let me try.
Wow, this is...
Mine sounds a little giddy.
It was nice. I could feel the joy.
- You are good. - Next...
When I think of Dana, I think tomboy...
She was a really... a strong girl.
When I think of Haha...
When I was a minor, since I couldn't drink,
he said he'd drink with my dad since I can't drink.
- My dad-- - What does that mean?
- I was-- - It was really popular back then--
X sister, Y sister, stuff like that.
- She's my X sister. - She is?
So he drank with my dad.
Is that possible?
- And he got a little drunk. - In front of your father?
And later, he was like "bro!"
Hey, you're so...
I'm sorry. I was too young.
He's doing all right?p
- I call him bro. - My dad always watches his shows.
- You admitted you're dating. - Yes.
It's Lee Ho-jae, the movie director, right?
I had never had a dating scandal--
You hid it well.
We said the same thing.
We'd been dating without letting anyone know.
But on one TV show, Kim Gu-ra said to me
"If you like dogs that much, you must not have a boyfriend."
- You know how he talks. - You got mad.
So I said "I do have a boyfriend."
- She got mad. - That's what Gu-ra does.
And my boyfriend had been wanting to tell people about us.
Too bad for them. Think how happy she must've been.
Wow, you're good.
Actually, before he told me he liked me,
I thought he was such a flirt.
Because...
He'd say he'd drive me home, and he'd carry my bag...
- He liked you. - You get suspicious.
It snowed a lot that day.
Snow.
And he drove me home, and...
- Did he kiss you? - He kissed you!
Well, he kissed me on my forehead.
And I was offended.
So I told him we should talk about this.
And I was proud of myself for speaking up about this situation--
So I got on the elevator...
and I saw myself smiling in the mirror.
Excuse me, can you sit up straight, please?
I'm sorry, ma'am.
That's all we're going to hear.
So we've met all the buskers for today.
- We can't wait to get out there-- - We want to hear you speak.
We want to really listen to what you have to say.
Alright. So today's busking spot--
Where is it? Where are we going today?
- Hello! - Hi!
Today's busking spot is
Han River Park in Yeouido, the place of rest for everyone in Seoul.
It's a perfect fall weather, and
at 6 p.m. by the time the busking begins,
the temperature here will be around 17 degrees celsius.
Because of the big temperature difference between day and night,
you might want to wear warm clothes to avoid catching a cold.
Thank you!
Now it's time for us to move to Han River Park in Yeouido.
This is Haha's favorite time.
The moment we pass through the "Talk Door,"
we will teleport to Han River Park in a flash.
We'll show you acting from old sitcoms.
What do you mean? We can teleport to Han River through this door?
Come on! This is a door for teleportation!
- Really? - Look!
Let's go.
- Dana, you go first! - Oh, it's cold!
Go!
This is a perfect place for couples.
I think Dana has been here many times.
I've only been here with my dog.
When I was hurt and was dumped, when I was too stressed out--
Alright, why don't we go upstairs?
She's going to burst into tears at this rate.
See you soon!
It was a good memory.
We've arrived in the waiting area for the busking.
Please decide the order that you'll go in.
My blood sugar level is dropping, so...
Probably because I was sweating so much back at the studio.
I don't think it should drop any lower.
Then I'd lie down--
Her blood sugar level--
I'm sorry.
Our first busker is Hwang Suk-jung.
- I'll go next. - And your reason?
I think Dana's can be the grand finale.
Alright, the order has been decided!
Right now, it's 6:35.
Do you have a strategy for today?
Right now it's cold outside and the river's flowing, so...
- And there's some dust in the air. - Right.
So I thought people would like a cup of tea.
They'll feel warm inside, and
I'll feel warm inside too.
Okay, then our first busker, Hwang Suk-jung...
- What are you doing? - Get out there.
She majored in Korean music.
I'm coming!
I can't imagine her being an introvert.
Is that her footsteps?
Hello!
I'm Hwang Suk-jung.
It's cold out here, so I prepared hot tea.
Come have a cup!
Wow.
She's really popular with young students.
Please have a cup, and while you're drinking this tea,
- we'll have a date! - Yes!
One thing I'm glad about is that
more and more people are gathering.
For the first three episodes, people were like "what is that?"
but now people recognize our show.
But we still have a long way to go.
You've seen me on TV, and now you've seen me in person. What do you think?
You're pretty!
Oh, really? I'm pretty?
Thank you so much.
I don't know how to respond to that.
I look easy-going, carefree, and a little bit tough,
and very unique... That's what people say about me.
But the real me...
isn't that easy-going or cheerful.
I tried very hard to become the easy-going and
carefree person that everybody thinks I am.
Even now, I'm always fighting myself.
The real me, who's fighting within myself...
I'll talk to you about that.
That's what I'm here to talk about.
I don't have any childhood memories of being loved by my mom.
My mom and dad were busy because they both worked.
So I always took care of my little sister.
And when my mom came home,
I would ask her to give me a hug.
But my mom would be exhausted because she'd come home late at night.
And she'd hold my sister first.
So I didn't get enough affection from my mom.
And I started thinking, maybe it's because I'm too ugly.
I thought I wasn't loved because I was too stupid.
I thought I was lacking something.
So I couldn't talk to anyone.
The words wouldn't come out.
Because I wasn't used to expressing myself.
Because I couldn't hang out with friends like all the other kids,
I remember being in a very dark alleyway,
hiding, looking at the kids my age playing together.
When I was little, my mom raised me alone.
She owned a store, so she came home around 10 or 11.
So I was alone every day.
But when I'm playing with my friends, when it's dinner time, for example,
Dana's mom calls her, and she goes home for dinner.
Dong-hun's mom calls him, and he goes home.
You were the last one left.
I was always the last one.
I hated it so much.
I wanted someone to call me so I could go home first.
But I was always the last one.
Since there's nothing I could play by myself, I would
bounce a ball against the wall and catch it.
But I didn't want to go home, so I waited for my brother.
I was thankful for him because he'd bring his school dinner for me.
For his little brother.
He must've wanted to eat it too. He was in junior high, high school.
But he gave it to me.
And I just took it for granted.
Listening to Suk-jung reminds me of the old days.
My family was poor, but I majored in Korean music.
Before I studied Korean music, I used to play the piano.
It was my mom's dream.
She would hit me in front of the piano if I didn't play correctly.
I was already scared of my mom, so every time I saw my mom, I'd be terrified.
Another thing my mom planted in my head was
if I am not the winner,
if I'm just applauding for the winner, I'm an idiot.
I'm sure she had good sides to her, but
since she hurt me, I only started to see the hurtful things she did to me.
Later, when my mom would stroke my hair when I'm in bed at night.
That terrified me.
I didn't want her to come near me. I was scared.
And at the same time, I began to hate myself more.
You keep making the same kind of relationship
that you had with your parents in your childhood.
If you grow up without feeling loved, you still have that desire when you're an adult.
But it's never fulfilled.
This is nice.
It's nice to have a psychologist with us.
Do you want to do the show with us?
- It's just what we need. - This is good.
But, now...
I'm not like that anymore.
If the story ended there, I'd be crying and blaming the world right now.
I wasn't living with my mom until recently,
but I've been living with her since last December.
And now she's become my best friend.
So what changed me so much?
You know, I'm an actress.
I play a variety of roles.
I used to be a really bad actor.
As you know, acting is about human emotions.
If you can't express the basic emotions, you can't act.
So the problem for me was,
when I went to college to learn acting,
I couldn't say the world "beautiful."
I'd never said that word.
I thought it was disgusting to say it.
I was still fighting with myself from childhood.
You know what my friends and teachers said to me?
They said "you'll never be able to act on TV. It's impossible for you."
Because I couldn't express anything..
I couldn't do something that was so easy to do for other people.
And... "Because you look like that..."
"There wouldn't be roles you can play."
How did I start thinking that I could do it?
I struggled so much trying to be a good actor.
And one day, when I was exhausted from it,
I thought of my mom.
My mom hated her mom so much.
She probably thought her life was miserable because of her mom.
My parents experienced the war. They both came from the North.
A girl who wasn't loved exprienced the war...
and she gave birth to a child, and went through hardships...
I tried to imagine my mom's life like it was a drama.
And I found myself becoming that girl,
giving birth to a girl, living in poverty...
I realized it was just like how I was sad because I wasn't loved. I saw myself in her.
Through acting, I realized what I was lacking.
And the hatred toward my mom disappeared.
There's an episode in my cartoon about parents and children...
and there's a line that says "if you can't overcome it, you become it."
But since she overcame it, she won't be doing it to the next generation.
You're right.
She overcame it, so she won't become it.
"If you can't overcome it, you become it."
Isn't that so scary?
It is.
Even now, actually, if I hear something from someone,
or if I get dumped,
it comes up again. Nothing's ever perfectly overcome.
"Oh, it's because you're worthless."
Sometimes I hear voices like that.
But I changed. Before, I couldn't really look at myself.
But now...
I know that it's because I haven't completely overcome the childhood, and it's okay.
And I tell myself that I've overcome most of it and that I'll be fine.
Now I have the strength to forgive myself and comfort myself.
I wanted to come out in hopes that
me telling you this story will help you to
stop hiding away the pain and the darkness
and grow from that.
Thank you, everyone.
Thank you.
It was probably the hardest thing to share.
It wasn't supposed to have a special message, but just from...
It has that power...
Like how she said "standing in front of you like this reminds me of my childhood."
It was like a close friend talking to me.
Oh, I don't know...
You were born to be loved
- Have a seat. - You did great.
I'm concerned...
since you live with your mother. How will she react if she watches this show?
I was actually worried about that, so when I started living with my mom,
I told her about all the bad memories, questions, and anger that I had because of her.
- That's good. - I asked her why she did that to me.
I told her how it hurt me and made me sad.
My mom said...she doesn't remember...
That's how it all ends up.
"I did?"
You said through acting you could understand your mother, right?
If you watch this show with her, she might be able to understand her daughter better.
You should give her the chance.
You're not a cartoonist, are you?
I'm sorry, but Hee-yeol's going to have to say that comment once again.
Nice.
Right now, it's 7:40.
At Han River Park... Don't be surprised, everyone--
- Is becoming a chicken and beer paradise. - Starting now?
Can Lee Jong-beom...
Can he beat fried chicken and radish?
- What are you doing? - Get out there.
Go! You can do it!
Based on the things he said in here, I think he'll do great.
Get out there!
He went out.
Hello.
Hi. It's cold out here...
Don't stand over there, come over to this side...
- Yes, bring a cushion. - Wow. They're gathering.
You don't have to stand there. You can sit here.
Do you read webtoons? Do you like them?
Have you read "Dr. Frost"?
I guess not. Sorry.
Being out there makes you a little petty.
You feel kind of small.
It's really comfortable here. We have really nice cusions.
They're expensive cusions.
You can sit down. It's okay.
I won't make you do things.
I'll give you a hot pack too.
Usually, the show's writers help you, right? But here, you're on your own.
Right. I was surprised.
There is no one to help you.
If there were, it wouldn't be busking.
Was that good?
Okay. You can stand and listen too.
It's cold.
Thank you for coming.
Hello. I'm a cartoonist.
I draw webtoons.
Is this your first time seeing a live webtoon cartoonist?
Yes.
I knew it as soon as I saw him.
He looks like he'd be an amazing painter.
He'd be amazing at something, right?
He was born to draw webtoons.
I draw webtoons, and I drew a webtoon called "Dr. Frost".
Some people remember me from "The Genius Season 3"
as the guy who got eliminated.
And other people remember me a little differently.
And that's what I'll be talking about tonight.
The webtoon I'm drawing...
is about a psycologist who can't feel emotions
who cures the illness of the mind.
So I get to meet all kinds of people who have all kinds of different traumas.
When I meet readers, I always ask them--
"Do you have any traumas?"
And many of them say "No, I don't have traumas."
They say "I'm doing fine."
How about you? Any of you have any traumas that they haven't overcome?
Most people say no.
But I found that traumas aren't always something huge.
It can be as trivial as not being able to eat a
certain food because you got indigestion once.
But it can be as serious as
not being able to ride a car after you've been in a car accident.
Because you're scared.
And if you look around you...
For some people, holidays are traumas because
they've been unemployed for several years.
I don't know since when, but we're used to hearing the word "trauma" now.
Before, we'd be like "what does trauma mean?"
I think we all have traumas.
And a lot of books and lectures tell you--
"how to overcome your trauma."
"Methods of overcoming trauma."
Don't they talk about things like that?
You have to overcome, you can't look away, and you shouldn't run away from it.
They'll tell you that.
But today I want to tell you a different story.
I was interviewing people about their traumas and
writing stories based on the interview, but
I had something similar happen to me.
Actually, the reason I'm so nervous right now,
is because I have to talk about my trauma.
Drawing a webtoon is solitary process.
Because we work alone.
So I look at social media and the internet a lot.
To webtoon artists, internet is like a...
school or office for you guys.
That's where we show our piece and hear people's reaction.
Even when I'm on break, I spend a lot of my time on the internet.
A couple of years ago,
I said something that upset a lot of people and hurt them.
In the beginning, I was just trying to say what I thought.
But it seemed like a lot of people misunderstood me.
So I started to get angry in the beginning.
As I got more angry...
I regret it so much now.
I let my emotions take over.
"Why won't they understand me?"
I wrote that it seemed like people had dyslexia.
That wasn't enough.
I said that the people who were swayed by the press are all the same.
I wrote that on my social media account.
I was looking down on people and hurting a lot of people.
I was of course criticized and cursed a lot.
Many people on the internet started hating on me.
I learned a lot about myself at that time too.
Did I always look down on people like this?
I was someone who was really this arrogant
and said things to hurt people.
I learned a lot about myself.
But it was too late.
I'm sure you all know.
When I opened my eyes, I started the day off with people cursing at me.
Starting work felt like going to school even when I know the whole class hates me.
It felt like everyone on the street was pointing their
fingers at me when I was coming back from work.
Some even said I should stop drawing cartoons because I don't deserve to.
Many told me to stop living as a webtoon artist.
I think every day was like that for about three months.
That's hard.
You can postpone meeting someone in person if you feel like it, and it would be okay.
But online, you start the day off with hate comments.
It continues until you sleep, and the day ends.
But the webtoon artists' world exists online.
That's their job.
Right. That's their job.
That's how they meet people.
The lives of the patients I used to cover became my life.
Symptoms of nervous breakdown and severe depression came to me at the same time.
But during that time, my friends always told me to stop going online
and to stop looking at social media.
But what I did was,
I went on social media even more than I did before, like a mad man.
I'd look at what the people were saying online.
There's something called exposure therapy in psychology.
It's where you face the thing you fear more to get familiar with it.
But that's something you need to do with a professional.
You have to do it with a professional, but I did it to myself because I didn't know.
I told myself that I can't run away.
And then I ended up completely destroyed.
There's a psychiatrist who helps me with my webtoon.
He asked me who told me to do that.
"Who told you to look up stuff and face it head on?"
"Why did you do that?"
After hearing that and thinking about it,
I realized that nobody told me to do that.
But that wasn't true.
Since the day I was born, I had always heard those words.
Don't run away and overcome it by facing it head on.
"Face it."
Have you ever seen athletes or musicians practice?
They repeat the most basic moves all throughout the day.
From morning to night, they repeat the most basic moves.
It's to pave a road on their body.
Once the road is paved,
they can do those moves automatically.
But in psychology,
roads are paved in our minds and thoughts, not just our bodies.
People who have heard something all the time, automatically end up thinking that way.
Think about it.
When we were very little, what did our fathers' generation say a the most?
You can do it.
You can overcome it.
Once you go to school, there was that famous saying.
It's not that you can't do it, you're just not trying.
Just do it.
Once you go to the army, everything's about just doing it.
Once you dive into the real world,
the things you see on social media, read in books, and hear in lectures
are all about that.
They all talk about overcoming things and achieving something.
No one talks about running away.
Why? Because you'll look like a coward.
Because you'll look like you ran away.
But I told you roads are paved in our minds.
You guys have heard that for the past 15 to 20 years.
So if you collapse right now
and are having such a hard time that you can't even get back up,
even if no one tells you to do that,
you will end up telling yourself that.
You can't run away.
You can't avoid it.
Because that's a cowardly thing to do.
What I wanted to tell you guys tonight was the opposite.
When you are in a difficult situation where you can't go forward anymore...
When you're hating yourself and are very frustrated...
I think the very first thing you need to do is
run away.
Run away.
Think about it.
You've cut yourself, and it's bleeding.
But there's no one who would scrub that part as if the cut wasn't there, right?
It would hurt so badly and make the cut worse.
It would hurt a lot.
What do people normally do?
They cover it.
They cover the cut.
People take care of their bodies a lot,
but doesn't do that when it comes to their heart.
According to the psychiatrists I talk to,
students with a lot of pain come to therapy with their parents.
The child doesn't know what to do because they're hurting so much.
But the parents tell them,
"The world is such a difficult place."
"Why are you getting hurt over just that?"
"Doctor, what's wrong with our child?"
Then the doctors would tell them that the parents are the problem.
If you two weren't here, this child would've been healed already.
What about the cut?
The cut is mine.
I'm the one who's hurting.
It's my cut, my blood, and I'm the one who's hurting right now.
There's no one who can judge my cut and assign a score to it.
But what we usually do is...
When we talk about it, our friends would tell us to cheer up
and that we can overcome it.
What do we do that's even worse?
We have a battle about our problems.
"That's nothing! I'm having a harder time."
What I really wanted to recommend to you guys is this.
When you're having a really hard time,
you can hide
and run away right now.
No one will tell you that it's okay to avoid it for a bit.
The one who needs to do that is yourself.
Because no one else will.
Tell yourself that it's okay and to run away for a bit.
Until when?
Until I'm able to face it again,
.let's run away, hide, and avoid for a bit
If you don't tell yourself that,
no one else will.
There's that saying.
The general who knows how to retreat is a better general
than the one who charges at the enemy.
Do you know why?
It's because you can save as many soldiers as you can for the next battle.
An event that could be traumatic for you...
After you've experienced something very painful, your life still goes on.
I mean, an MC shouldn't be this quiet, but I can't really say much
because I'm just listening.
- Yeah. - This has never happened before.
I wanted to share this with you guys today
so I was organizing my thoughts on paper.
When I woke up, I was covered in sweat.
It must mean that I haven't overcome what happened to me.
But the reason I can still talk about what happened in front of people
and admit how I was wrong is because
I ran away with all my might
and I took care of myself alone even though no one told me to.
I think that's why I've made it this far.
If there's anyone here who has never told
themselves that it's okay to run away for a bit,
I want to take this opportunity to recommend that to you.
Because no one else will tell you that.
I'm reflecting on myself.
There are young artists at my agency.
When they say they're having a hard time or are tired,
I tell them that they can do it.
- Don't do that. - I think I kept telling them that.
From now on, if they tell me that,
I'll tell them to run away for a bit.
What if they don't come back?
The one with the pretty bun.
I really enjoyed your webtoon.
Thank you.
And this is about something else.
Those people only saw one thing that you said
and commented on just that aspect.
They don't know what your life was like.
Since they only judged you on just that one thing,
I wanted to tell you to not get hurt by it.
Your work has comforted me a lot.
I just really wanted to tell you that.
Yeah, I'll stop there.
Thank you.
For me, my family history is very painful for me.
I'd always cover it up, act like I'm okay, and run away like you said...
But...
I keep wondering these days if I've healed.
I want to uncover the bandage,
but I don't have the courage to do that yet.
And because I keep avoiding it,
I'm so frustrated at myself for not doing it.
It's been very hard, right?
I'm sure it was very hard.
Other people don't really know about that.
You've been through a lot.
When you opened your eyes,
you realized that you were born in Alaska.
It's so cold.
I didn't even get to choose, and it happened to be Alaska.
You realized that you were born in a desert. It's so hot.
You realized that you were born in a difficult family.
It's so hard.
You've survived in a place like that.
You've survived it by going through a much tougher time than others.
You're sitting here as a survivor.
You've done an amazing thing by just surviving it.
You have to tell yourself that.
"I'm the best."
You have to be able to tell yourself that.
I'm telling you that now, but no one else will.
You've been through a lot.
I want to believe that I gave her something meaningful.
I'd like to believe that
I told you guys something that you can relate to.
Yeah.
It's cold.
Should we take a break before we hear the next story?
I'm cartoonist Lee Jong-bum.
Thank you so much for listening to my story until the very end.
For those of you who feel like you got something out of it,
please put in a donation here. You can give cash too.
Or you can use your card.
They're going to put it to a good use for the survivors like you.
Thank you so much everyone.
He did a really great job.
He looked awesome.
It wasn't typical.
From all the talks we've seen on here,
this is the first time we talked this little.
We really didn't talk much.
Bravo.
Bravo!
Bravo, bravo.
How could you speak like that?
- You were the best. - Thank you.
You were awesome.
It felt like I was personally talking to them.
From what we heard,
it seems like we should talk to ourselves.
I usually make fun of those kind of people.
Oh, I have done that. I've talked to myself before.
When?
When I'm having trouble writing songs.
I'm by myself working...
I'd draw stuff and...
Damn it!
"Hee-yeol, what is that?"
That's very embarrassing.
And afterward, I always look in the mirror.
I'm... I'm...
I'm like that. The reason I stopped talking to myself is...
One time, I got drunk and cried.
I bawled my eyes out in the bathroom and then looked in the mirror,
and I looked so disgusting.
So I said, "What you looking at you ****?"
- That's right. - That face...
- You know, right? - I get it!
I was disgusted by the words I just said.
Let's do that again.
That one didn't count.
- I'm editing it out myself. - Edit it out.
That didn't count.
If this show does well,
there might be a lot of people who talk to themselves on the street.
All right, what are you doing?
Go on outside!
You got this!
Dana, Dana, Hee-yeol Dana.
My bro's daughter!
Hello, I'm Dana.
I wanted to talk to you guys.
That's why I'm here.
She talks so nicely.
For those of you who have the time and want to join,
could you bring your cushions and sit over here?
Try to sit close to each other since it's cold.
All right.
There was one thing I lacked.
It was desperation.
Desperation is...
That man's desperation for people to move made him ring his bell.
Like that, desperation comes when your heart is moved to achieve something.
Before learning that,
I was a 6th grade girl who was thrown into the world.
I went to an amusement park one day
and was cast to become a singer.
You could say that I became a singer very easily.
Because of that,
I didn't have any dreams of winning first place or winning the rookie award.
I just worked all the jobs that my agency booked every day without thinking.
I cried when it was hard and threw a tantrum to get out of a job.
That's how I lived my life.
As you guys all know,
I'm not a celebrity who became a top star and had her prime days.
If I had become a world star,
then I would've felt a sense of accomplishment
and would've had something to say confidently.
But because that's not the case for me,
"What?"
"Which goal am I working all these jobs for?"
I had that thought all of a sudden.
That's when my puberty started.
Puberty doesn't only happen in your teens.
I'm going through puberty right now.
I want to go to clubs.
Me too.
I've never been to a club.
Should we go to one tonight?
The staff around me were people I should thank for helping me.
But I'd treat them badly.
"Why won't you do this? Aren't you paid to do it?"
I said stuff like that.
I was a rude blank.
I meet a lot of people like that.
- Right. - But those guys are
very closed off.
It's because they feel like they can't reveal it.
They think that they have to be much stronger than the adults do.
- It's like they're wearing a veil. - Right.
I rebelled saying that I'm going to do something that I wanted to do.
After I thought about what I wanted,
I realized I wanted to become an international lawyer.
It's very random, right?
Yes.
Do you know what the cool thing is about this show?
You end up talking to the screen.
You find yourself talking to the screen.
Some people are laughing right now.
I also think it's funny that I said that.
But at that time, I meant it.
So I got 2 out of the 4 certifications needed for that job.
- Did you know that? That's impressive. - No.
I think the reason people could think that's funny is because...
I think it's because I didn't have that experience growing up.
My friends didn't ask me, "What do you want to be?"
"What are you going to do? Really?"
We've never talked about that kind of stuff.
My mom met with my agency and signed a contract.
Being passive had become my whole life.
I couldn't find what I wanted to do.
Out of the foreign articles I read when I was feeling very lost,
there was a survey that asked elementary students to write down their dreams.
There were things like, "I want to become yellow
when I grow up because I really love bananas."
"I want to become bubbles because everyone likes bubbles."
There were dreams like those ones.
But in our country,
even when you ask elementary students about their dreams,
they all write a specific profession.
As I started thinking that a dream doesn't have to be a specific profession,
I started to find my own dream.
That was singing.
I chose to live my life as a singer.
When I asked myself, "Would you be satisfied with just singing at karaokes?"
the answer was yes.
Yeah, that was okay.
So I went to karaoke and sang.
I would change the lyrics and just dance around.
I'd film myself and put it on a thumb drive to listen to myself.
That was enough for me.
Thankfully, my agency...
lets their artists take a break if they don't want to work.
That's nice.
Should I transfer?
But I ran into a practical problem.
I didn't have money.
But I really didn't want to become an idol.
So I thought about what I should do to make money.
I thought about getting a part time job and working as a substitute driver.
I really like driving.
What happened to that girl?
For real?
So I told my agency that I wanted to work.
Then I ended up doing a musical.
But...
the first musical that I was on after having my puberty,
was a very cold place and had a strong prejudice against singers.
I think I went through all sorts of hardships during that time.
Every time I went on stage,
I wanted to run away, say that I'm hurting, and take a break.
But because I liked to sing...
Where else could I go and earn money from singing?
So I had no choice but to fight it every day.
There was a director who was cold and had no problem with saying harsh words.
"Dana, you're a celebrity."
"You're stealing jobs from musical actors right now."
"You stole their job and you're not even doing a good job."
"So I don't want you to do musicals."
After I heard that,
I didn't even cry...
because I think I was thinking the same thing on the inside.
After hearing that,
I thought that I had become a singer easily
and lived my life wanting to only do stuff I wanted to do.
The only thing I couldn't give up was singing.
In order to keep singing,
I need to practice.
Then I became desperate.
So I started to practice,
but the opportunities wouldn't come to me.
My singing was better but there were no jobs.
No one was calling for me.
I decided that I had to sing no matter what.
So I distributed the recordings of me singing at karaoke to my friends.
Really?
But the only reason she could do that was because she was very desperate.
You're right.
I was waiting for my break and got an offer to be on "Mystery Music Show Mask King."
With that file?
Interesting.
I prepared for it with the goal to work the hardest I've ever done on any show.
If I woke up at 3AM and sang that song, I think I would sing it exactly the same.
The energy and hard work derived from my desperation at that time...
and the feelings I had that I can't express in words?
I don't think...
I can compare those to anything in this world.
The moment you recognize your value,
you stop caring about what others think.
I lost during the first round on that show.
So that means I did the worst on there.
The world isn't fair.
You never get back as much as the effort you put into it.
People who understand you won't be there when you need them the most.
But the times that I worked hard...
I did something that I wanted not because someone told me to do it.
I worked hard on my own.
That in itself had value.
Even though I lost,
I felt good.
And no matter how people judge it, I worked very hard this time.
I got through it with that in mind.
Afterward, I wanted to work hard on everything.
Life had become enjoyable for her.
So I released an album
and tried acting more too.
I'm not scared of doing musicals anymore.
I don't get scared even when I meet that director.
Wow.
You have the best reaction.
"It's fun."
"You're ready."
I don't have a TV so I really get into this sort of stuff.
Because I usually don't watch these stuff.
You should come during our filming and watch.
If you're free, you should come.
I'm sure there are many people worried about getting a job.
But even people like me who had a career in 6th grade,
may not be happy or satisfied with their lives.
And no matter how early you get a job, it doesn't mean that it's stable.
Right now, do some immature things.
I think this is the time for you to continuously give yourself
opportunities to find out who you are and what you want.
So right now, I have a lot of things that I want.
And I found out exactly what I want in life.
That happened from meeting this one person.
It's Lee Ho-jae.
Yes, Lee Ho-jae is...
my boyfriend and...
the director of "Lazy Hitchhikers' Tour de Europe."
He's not like anyone I've ever met before,
and also, I've never dated anyone like him before.
He looked at me as if he felt sorry for me.
I asked him why he felt sorry for me.
He said, "When you're not in charge of your own life,"
"your dreams are continuing to be wasted even at this very moment."
That's what he said.
It upset me a lot.
Even though I wasn't that satisfied with my life,
but it felt different hearing it from someone else.
I was mad, but
I could understand what he meant.
I think he's responsible for 50% of the work that made me who I am today.
Wow. That's a lot.
Guys would leave me if I tell them that.
They'd drop me.
I think there is a lower chance of meeting someone you love
and your life changing for the better through that person
than being struck with lightning.
Nice.
She must be so happy.
I'll take questions now.
If you have any, please raise your hands.
I think you dated other people before you met that person.
How were they different?
She asked how they were different.
Is she an intern reporter?
The thing that was different...
The guys I've dated...
I really don't want my boyfriend to watch this show.
We're lying to each other saying that we're each other's first loves.
We're saying that we're doing everything for the first time...
But the men I've dated before...
assumed that I wouldn't want to go to crowded places because I was a celebrity.
I wanted them to see me as just a normal woman.
But most of them worried about things that I didn't worry about.
But my current boyfriend is someone who told me to walk even though it was cold.
He said that I had to experience a lot of people in order to become an actress.
So he told me to walk.
Like that, he made me enlightened.
He allowed me, who used to be in a well, to look at the world in a positive light.
That's what happened.
Anyway, thank you for listening to my long story.
Please keep supporting me, thank you.
Was it too long?
- No. - You're such a smart girl.
I think I lost about 600 grams.
I was really close with Dana long time ago.
But I didn't know that Dana went through this kind of stuff.
- You can't enjoy what you can't avoid. - Right.
I really related to the thing from earlier.
When you do something you like, you have to enjoy it passionately.
That way,
you have a reason to avoid something.
The total of the donation so far was $315.
Right.
It's time to announce the results.
Announce what?
We had a joint goal.
- Right. - Donating it to a good cause.
That's right. We have no choice but to announce
the first guest, Hwang Seok-jung's busking amount.
- Since you were first to go. - Okay.
Right. First busker, Hwang Seok-jung's busking amount was...
That's amazing.
$25.
- That's amazing! - Really?
- That's huge. - Thank you so much.
This is the total with Lee Jong-bum's amount added to it.
$50.
Wow, why are they so friendly?
How could it be exactly the same? That's amazing.
Amazing.
The amount per person has increased.
In the beginning, we got about $10.
Now we're getting $25.
Lastly,
here is Dana's result.
Today's total amount is...
You're amazing.
Are you nervous?
The amount is...
$72!
That's incredible!
That's huge.
72 people gave.
72 people.
They haven't left yet.
They're waiting for our curtain call.
Let's say goodbye.
One, two, three.
Thank you!
Wow, it really feels like we put on a show.
It's just amazing!
We're at Hangang park in Yeoido.
The percentage of people who participated was...
We're at Hangang park in Yeoido.
The percentage of people who participated was...
100%!
Everyone, come visit the Hangang park in Yeoido!
Come visit!
Why are we doing that anyway?
We just somehow started doing it.
The total collection amount so far is $387.
Thank you.
It's time to close "As I Say" busking session.
What are you all doing? Please leave!
(A girl crush warning at COEX!)
(The best female rapper, Cheetah)
(Beautiful Korean art painter, Kim Hyun-jung)
(Sooju game producer, Choi Seo-yoon)
("As I Say" on Wednesday nights)
Subtitles by OnDemandKorea